


Something broken about this

by dykeleonierichter



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, Based on a Tumblr Post, Falling In Love, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, M/M, Matteo is a stupid gay, Trans Male Character, nobody asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykeleonierichter/pseuds/dykeleonierichter
Summary: Amira blackmails Matteo into auditioning for Kiki's rendition of Romeo and Juliet where Matteo jokingly decides to audition for the role of Juliet. Little does he know his undiscovered paramour has already gotten the Romeo lead.Or the Theatre AU nobody asked for





	1. watch me overthink and disappear

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! so nobody asked for a theatre AU but i thought that after the season 3 final i wanted some further David/Matteo content, so I've taken matters into my own hands. Kudo's and comments are welcome and constructive criticism is also welcomed. My Tumblr is @darkdodielove for anyone who wanted to yell at me for this. 
> 
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes!!

He hadn't meant to do it. It wasn't his fault that Abdi gave him the weed to hold on to and it certainly wasn't his fault for shoving it in an empty vase when the cops busted up Kiki's party. It definitely wasn't his fault that Amira saw him shoving said bag of weed into said vase. 

 

But somehow that's what landed him outside the auditorium next to Amira who is glaring holes into the side of his head. She sighs loudly and taps her foot impatiently on the ground. The sound of voices floats in and out from inside the auditorium. 

 

"Why do I have to do this? Why couldn't I just do your homework or something?" he asks pleadingly. Amira smiles at him sarcastically.

 

"Because," she starts, "you're a dumbass and you're the reason Kiki almost got busted by the cops if I hadn't grabbed the bag they would have found it," she says as if it's common knowledge. 

 

"Keyword in that sentence is almost," he mumbles. Amira rolls her eyes and sighs again. 

 

"Matteo I swear, if you don't get inside there right now I'll tell Kiki you stashed weed at her place and I'll tell Abdi you lost his weed," she says, something crashes inside and the sound of microphone feedback makes him cringe. He takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, Amira following behind him. 

 

He stops at the base of the steps to the stage where all the other people who are auditioning are lined by flipping through their script. A thick booklet hits his chest and his hands fly up to the grab it before it falls. 

 

"Which role are you gonna audition for?" Amira asks. Matteo smirks at her and holds back a chuckle. 

 

"Well, I thought I'd go for a lead role, the real beauty Juliet," he says with a small laugh. Amira rolls her eyes. 

 

"You're gonna regret that, all the girls in here will chop your dick off to get that role," she laughs. 

 

"Pick a scene to audition with," she smirks when Matteo stares at her like a deer caught in headlights. He sits down on the steps and flips through the script. 

 

He mouths along to some of the lines before he gets the intrusive feeling that he's being watched, he looks up from the script and whips his head around, his eyes meet deep brown eyes. The boy smiles kindly at him and tilts his head a little bit, Matteo feels a blush creep up his neck and take up permanent residency on his cheeks. 

 

Amira kicks his shoe and clears her throat, his eyes snap back to her. 

 

"Have you picked a scene?" she asks. Matteo hums, weighing the two scenes he liked in his head. 

 

"Uh yeah act two scene five,” he says with a sigh. Amira nods approving, she turns on her heel and bounds up the steps beside Matteo and makes her way to the centre of the stage, she hugs one of the girls and moves to the edge of the stage to duck behind the big red curtains that line it. 

“Will all the people auditing please take a seat in the front row and wait for your name to be called,” a soft voice says over the PA system. Matteo moves quickly from the stairs as everyone rushes to grab a seat. 

 

The animosity and tension in the room are almost palpable, everyone glares at each other and try to take down anyone who they consider the competition, maybe Amira was right. Matteo side eyes everyone as he walks along the row and takes a seat at the end of the row. 

 

He pulls out his phone and scrolls through Instagram for a few minutes before the PA system crackles to life again. 

 

“Mia Amalie Winter auditioning for Juliet, scene one act three please come behind the stage and get ready for your audition,” a voice calls over the PA. The girl stands, takes a moment and starts walking up the stage steps and behind the curtains. 

 

Someone sits down next to Matteo and makes his seat shake. He turns around ready to glare at the people who felt the need to sit next to him despite the fact there are plenty of seats left in the row but the glare dies before it’s even formed when his eye’s met the same one from before. 

 

“Is it cool if I sit here?” the other boy asks, Matteo nods his head not trusting himself to talk. The boy's knee is pressed against Matteo’s own and he feels like his whole body is on fire. He turns to look at the boy again, his long lashes sweep across his cheekbones when he blinks, his soft-looking brown hair makes Matteo want to run his hands through it and his mouth goes dry when he sees the little silver ring that sits against the other boy's septum. 

 

“I’m David by the way,” he says without turning his head back but he probably knows Matteo was staring at his face for a solid minute. He turns his head back to watch Mia come out from behind a curtain and recite her first line. 

 

“I’m Matteo,” he says quietly. He sees David turn to look at him and it takes everyone single ounce of willpower he has in him not to turn and met David’s eyes. 

 

“Matteo,” David says slowly as if he’s trying to understand the name and Matteo feels like he could combust right then and there, his heart is racing too fast, his face feels too hot and voice of the girl on stage sounds too loud and too soft at the same time.

“Are you into theatre?” David asks him lowly as to not distract the people watching Mia’s performance. Matteo shakes his head slightly and keeps his eyes forward. David laughs a little bit 

 

“Well if you aren’t into theatre then what are you doing auditioning for a play?” he asks turning his head back to look at the stage but tilting his head so he can hear Matteo. 

 

“I guess you could say i’m helping out a friend of a friend,” Matteo says his fingers doing hidden air quotes against his leg. 

 

“Right,” David draws out and Matteo smiles slightly before bitting it back. He can see David turn back to look at him out of the corner of his eye. 

Matteo nods his head slowly and finally turns to look at the boy next to him. David smiles softly at him and Matteo prays to the god he doesn’t even really believe in that the low lighting of the auditorium is enough to hide the seriously red blush he has on his cheeks. But something tells him David knows. He doesn’t know why but he feels himself lean into David, the armrest digs into his side. David leans in too, their foreheads almost pressed together, Matteo tilts his head and pushes himself up a little.

 

The loud sound of people clapping makes his jump and push himself back against the seat, the lights brighten and Mia bows. Matteo turns to look at David who smiles at him with a little twinkle in his eyes. 

 

The next name is called and then another name, the auditorium is nearly empty by the time Matteo’s name is called. 

 

“Auditioning for…...Juliet,” the voice pauses for a moment. Matteo stands up, grabs his script, shakes out his legs and smiles at David who is in the same seat next to Matteo’s. He walks up the steps, his heart beating in his ears. He had planned on bombing his auditioning and getting back the weed but telling Amira he had tried his hardest but now with the deep brown eyes of a pretty boy watching he’s not so sure he can joke around. 

 

He stands on the centre of the stage as the lights dim, takes a deep breath and recites his first line. 


	2. i hold so many small regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!! i hope you like this chapter. I don't know how consistent chapters are gonna be because i have school and work but i'll try to get a chapter out once or twice a week!! My Tumblr is @darkdodielove if you wanna yell at me because if this. 
> 
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it's pretty late at night while i was writing this.

 

He stumbles off the stage, his heart still racing and his hands shaking like crazy but he smiles widely at David and Amira when they both meet him at the bottom of the stage. Amira gives him a huge hug and a wide smile. 

 

“Dude, that was so good, I actually thought you were joking when you said you were going to go for Juliet but that was so good!” she says with a wide smile. 

“Oh no, I’d never do that,” he says in a sarcastic tone. Amira rolls her eyes, pats his shoulder twice and starts walking towards the exit. David takes Amira spot and smiles brightly at the boy in front of him.

 

“That was really good Matteo,” David says and if Matteo wasn’t already blushing from all the positive attention he was definitely blushing now. David steps forward ever so slightly. 

 

“Can I give you a hug?” David asks and Matteo just stops working for a few seconds. His body betrays him and makes his head nod, the next thing he knows is strong arms wrapping themselves around his waist, he tenses for a few seconds before he lets himself relax and wraps his arms about David’s neck.

 

He closes his eyes and sighs, he hears David chuckle quietly and tightens his arms around Matteo’s sides. 

 

He feels like he could die here in David’s arms, fuck school, fuck his friends and fuck his roommates, tell them he isn't paying his rent this month cause he's about to die in a cute boy's arms. David breath fans over his shoulders and his brain stops working when he feels something resembling a kiss pressed to his collarbone. 

 

Matteo doesn’t know how long they stand there, it feels like hours later when they detach from each other, his limbs feel soft and his brain has turned into much, he couldn’t think a clear thought right now even if he tried. Matteo smiles at him and giggles when David very visibly blushes. 

 

“Aren’t you auditioning?” he asks. David smiles at him and shakes his head. 

 

“No, I just like to watch everyone plus Kiki asked for some help setting up,”  he says, Matteo nods his head. Though this moment might be small he feels overwhelmed.  

 

“So Kiki is having a party tonight to announce the cast list…..” David starts, Matteo nods his head. 

 

“Yeah I got the invite on Instagram,” he says with a smile. David walks over to the row of seats, sits down and pats the seat next to him, a silent request for Matteo to sit down next to him and who is Matteo to say no. He sits down and their legs brush again. 

 

“What’s your Instagram? I’ll follow you,” he says while pulling his phone out of his pocket. Matteo blushes, acutely aware of the fact his Instagram is full of weird memes and drunk photos of him and boys. 

 

David passes Matteo his phone and he types in his username into the search bar, his profile picture that Hanna made him choose a year ago pops up, he hands the phone back to David who smiles at him and presses follow. His phone buzzes in his pocket, he grabs his phone and smiles at the notification. 

 

**4:50 pm: da_vid.gif started following you**

 

The boys are silent as they scroll through each others Instagram photos, David occasionally lets out a small laugh when he finds a particular meme funny. Matteo looks at the side of his face and smiles a small private smile. He looks down at his phone and smiles at the numerous amounts of sketches and drawings that David has posted. His eyes linger on one specific drawing of a boy wearing something that resembles a dress. 

 

He looks up to see David staring at the drawing on his phone. 

 

“I don’t get it but I like it,” Matteo says with a smile, David looks at the drawing for a few more seconds before he lifts his eyes to look at Matteo and he smiles sadly. 

 

“I’ll explain it to you one day, I promise,” David whispers. Matteo furrows his eyebrows but nods his head. His brain clings to the words “I’ll explain it to you one day” does that mean David sees him in his future? Does he feel the same as Matteo feels right now? David moves in his seat and Matteo looks to him. 

 

“Okay,” he says with a nod. David stands up and tucks his phone into his pocket with Matteo following suit. 

 

“So I’ll see you at the party tonight right?” David asks as he starts walking towards the back of the auditorium Matteo follows him and nods his head. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you there,” he says with a smile. David looks him up and down with a flirty smile and continues his walk towards the exit, he turns around to look at Matteo before he walks out, the door slamming closes behind him. 

 

Matteo presses the palms of his hands to his cheeks and lets out a little hysteric laugh. 

 

“What the fuck,” he mumbles, he looks around

 

\----

 

Matteo can feel the music from where he is standing outside Kiki’s place, the loud beat awakens something in him is what he would tell people if they saw him right now, bouncing on the heels of his feet, not the fact that somewhere in that house is a boy that makes Matteo’s heart race and his body feel like it’s on fire. 

 

“Dude, are we gonna go in or what?” Jonas asks from beside him, Carlos and Abdi look at him with raised eyebrows. He nods his head and stares at the front door for a second. 

 

A few people stumble out of the front door, a guy and a girl hold another girl up with their arms slung around her waist, they tip to the side and the girls giggle. Matteo takes a deep breath and walks into the party with the boys following behind him. When he gets inside he takes a few seconds to let his eyes adjust to the bright flashing lights, the room smells of sweat and alcohol. There are people to his left making out and a few people trying to awkwardly dance, the sofa and all the chairs have been pushed up against the walls to make room for people who want to dance. 

 

“Hi, Matteo, boys,” Amira greets them over the loud music, Matteo smiles at her and returns her greeting. Jonas takes his hand and drags him to the crowded kitchen to grab a drink, he leans against the counter and watches as Jonas pours a shit load of vodka in a cup and mixes it with coke. 

 

“What do you want?” Jonas asks him, he takes a sip from his drink, cringes and breathes deeply for a second. 

 

“Vodka and coke, not much though,” he says. He looks around and his eyes catch on a familiar back. He takes the drink Jonas passes him, he takes a slip and coughs when he swallows near straight vodka. 

 

“Jesus fucking christ,” he huffs. Jonas sees Hanna and makes a straight b-line for her. 

 

“Hey, you,” David says as he walks into the kitchen and Matteo nearly chokes on his drink because David is wearing a black and white striped shirt with ripped jeans. He wipes up the drink that he spilt on his chin with his sleeve. 

 

“Hi,” he croaks, David walks over to him and they stand smiling at each other, shoulder to shoulder for a few seconds before Matteo breaks eye contact. 

 

“So I talked to Kiki and she said she would be announcing the who got what parts on about five minutes,” David stays, he steps away from Matteo and towards the drink table. Matteo feels himself lean forward, missing the body heat from David but all he can do is nod his head. 

 

He watches David make his drink, completely forgetting his own drink. David turns back around and passes him a red cup, Matteo puts down his drink Jonas made him and grabs the one David passes him, he takes a sip out of the cup and cringes. 

 

“Dude, what the fuck is this?” he says, David just laughs at him and takes a sip out of his own cup.

“It’s apple juice and vodka,” David says and looks at him over the rim of his cup. 

 

“This tastes like shit,” he says as he takes another sip. David rolls his eyes and smiles at the boy. The music cuts out and they both turn to see Carlos help a very obviously drunk Kiki up onto the coffee table, David grabs Matteo’s empty hand and pulls him into the living room. 

 

“Hi everyone, thank you for coming tonight,” Kiki says, slurring her words, everyone cheers loudly but she shushes them and grabs a piece of paper out of someone's hands. She reads the names of people one by one followed by who they are playing. The crowd cheers loudly after every person and Matteo has to resist the urge to cover his ears with his hands. 

 

“And finally, for our leading roles, Romeo and Juliet. Juliet is being played by……. Matteo Florenzi.” 

 

Everyone cheers loudly and he feels a few people clap him on the shoulder, he smiles widely and turns to David who just stares at him. 

 

“And our Romeo is being played by David Schreibner,” she announces with a huge smile. Everyone claps David on the back and shoulder while he just stares at Matteo. 

 

“Oh,” Matteo breathes out. He catches the eyes of Amira across the room behind David, she holds up two thumbs and smiles at him. He looks back at David and turns around walking to the front door, opening it and walking out. 

 

He sits down on the cool grass and lets the nighttime breeze fan over his face, he closes his eyes and just sits there, the music resumes and the beat falls in line with how fast his heart is beating, his face feels too hot and his hair sticks down to his forehead. The grass tickles his fingers and he wants to rip it out, to run as fast as he can, to have an excuse for why his heart is beating so fast that isn’t him thinking about kissing David on stage. He hears the door open and someone sits down on the grass next to him but he keeps his eyes closed. 

 

“Hello Juliet,” a soft voice says, Matteo opens his eyes and smile at David. 

 

“Why hello Romeo,” he greets, they both laugh and smile at each other.  


	3. falling for u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out here feeding the gays, i wasn't gonna post this until monday after school but i just watched the new Skam españa clip and now i'm sad so I just wanted to post this for everyone who might be feeling upset over the clip. My lesbian ass is in tears. My Tumblr is @darkdodielove if any of you wanna scream about skames or druck!! 
> 
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

Matteo stares at the auditorium door for the second time this week, he rubs his sweaty palms on the front of his shirt. Someone laughs from inside and he smiles as he recognises the laugh but he becomes more nervous for a very different reason. 

 

His phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his pocket and rolls his eyes at the rehearsal notification that comes up. 

“I’m already here,” he says to himself and tucks his phone back into the front pocket of his hoodie. He grips his rolled-up script so it crinkles a bit.

 

He walks a few laps up and down the corridor, his shoes squeak off the white vinyl floor. He shoves his under his armpit and puts his shaking hands in the front pocket of his hoodie, he takes hold of his phone in his pocket and squeezes his hand around it once, twice, something hard and solid to keep his anxiety in line. He stops pacing and shakes out his legs before walking back to the door, he pushes it open and laughs when he sees Kiki and David slow dancing around the stage with matching capes and tiaras on. 

 

David stops when he sees Matteo and smiles at him, he takes the tiara off his head and jumps down off the stage. Matteo meets him in the middle of the walkway. 

 

“Hey,” he says with a smile, David smiles brightly at him and returns his greeting. 

 

“Bend down,” David says with a laugh as he lifts up the tiara, Matteo laughs and bows his head down a little bit, David places the tiara on his head with a smile and flushed cheeks. 

 

“Am I queen Juliet now huh?” Matteo asks his eye shining brightly. David chuckles and rolls his eyes. 

 

“Well if you’re the queen, I guess that makes me your king,” he says, he ducks his head down and cringes as if he can’t believe he said that. 

 

“I guess it does make you my king,” Matteo says quietly, David lifts his head, mouth slightly agape. 

 

“Well I guess I still need your daddy’s permission to marry you,” David says with a laugh, Matteo laughs as well and shakes his head.

 

“How fucking outdated is that,” he laughs. David smiles and pretends to tip an invisible top hat.

 

“Well, you know me, forever the traditional man,” David says sarcastically. Matteo ducks his head, contemplating what to say. 

 

“The answer to your proposal is yes,” he mumbles. He hears David suck in a breath.

 

“Are we ready to start?” Kiki yells from the stage, both boys turn to look at her and nod their heads, they walk back towards the stage side by side but careful not to look at each other, scared of what would happen if they stared at each other for too long. Perhaps the earth would crack in two or a volcano will erupt somewhere in the world or maybe…..nothing. 

 

Matteo walks up the steps behind David, he stops when David stops at the edge of the slowly forming group. They stand with their shoulders and hands brushing, it takes every small piece of willpower Matteo possess to not reach out and grab David’s hand, to thread their fingers together and to calm the rapidly growing pit of anxiety in his brain. 

 

He sees someone move next to David out of his peripheral vision and he lifts his head to see a girl with long brown hair kiss David on the cheek and lean her weight on him, her head on his shoulder. Matteo’s eyes sting as he steps to the side, David turns to look at him and follows his line of sight to the girl on his arm. 

 

They turn to the centre of the stage when Kiki claps her hands loudly to pull everyone out of their conversations and to pay attention to her.

 

“Let's get started, shall we? As all of you know, we’ve had some genderswaps, we have a guy playing Juliet and a guy playing Romeo…..obviously,” Kiki says and everyone laughs. 

 

“So we’ve decided to make this love story a more modern rendition, two boys in love going against their parents wishes to see each other and because of this being a school production, they don't die in the end, they run away together," she says. Matteo nods his head with the group but the words that were just spoken have gone in one ear and out the other. The same questions stuck in his head, “is that girl David’s girlfriend” and “why was he feeling so upset and jealous at the idea of David having a girlfriend.” 

 

He knows the answer to that last question but refused to acknowledge it.

 

“We are also changing Juliets pronouns but the name is staying the same,” Kiki adds in before she turns behind her, picks something up from the floor and turns back around placing a big stack of new scripts on the table she is standing behind. 

 

“The team and I,” she says as she holds out a hand to reference Amira, Hanna and Sam who all stand next to her, “have written up new scripts, you each have your own personal script and it’ll have your name at the top of it. All of your lines and scenes have been highlighted if we’ve missed one please just either highlight it yourself or put a star next to it. Come and get your scripts and give them a read.”

 

Everyone rushes forward to grab their scripts when Kiki stops speaking, Matteo stays back and waits for everyone to clear away from the table, scared that someone might as Amira said: “chop his dick off for the role.” 

 

He turns his head and watches as David untangles himself from the girl and walks over to the table and looks through the remaining scripts to find his own, he grabs three of the booklets, pulls out a pen, he flips one of the scripts to the back page and writes something. Matteo looks out towards the seating area where everyone is taking up seats to sit down and read their scripts. Matteo looks back to the table just as David starts walks back towards him, David hands him a script with his name scrawled on the top left-hand corner. 

 

“Thank you,” Matteo mumbles, David’s lips quirk up for half a second before he nods his head and walks back to the girl and hands her a script. 

 

Matteo sighs deeply, walks to the edge of the stage, lowers himself and scoots his butt off the edge and lands on his feet almost tipping over two younger girls. He mumbles an apology and walks quickly to the back of the auditorium and takes one of furthest away seats. 

 

Someone throws themselves down next to him and giggles when Matteo jumps a foot in the air. 

 

“Haha,” he says sarcastically but smiles, he turns to face the culprit and his smile wavers when he looks into those deep brown eyes. 

 

He turns his back to his script and flips through the thick booklet, he keeps it open halfway through, the first thing on the page is a highlighted stage direction and what is meant to be happening at that moment. 

 

“Juliet is dragged onto the stage by Capulet. He looks distressed and is trying to wrench his from his father's grip. There is a set piece dividing the stage so it looks like two rooms, Romeo and  Montague are arguing about Juliet. The Capulet and Montagues scripts overlap as if they are giving the same speech to each boy,” Matteo mutters under his breath suddenly feeling overwhelmed. 

 

“So are you excited about being in the play?” David asks him. Matteo hums as he reads the script in his head, he feels a hand on his arm and he turns his head to look at David. 

 

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” he says trying to seem unbothered even though his brain is literally screaming at him to shut up, he moves his arm and the hand that was on his arm recoils back into David’s lap. 

 

“Fucking dick,” he mouths slightly when David starts to smile at him, a slow closed mouth smile quickly turned into a shit-eating grin. Matteo shakes his head incredulously and up from his seat. David quickly stands up to and grabs Matteo’s arm before he has the chance to walk away. 

 

“Dude no, Laura isn’t my girlfriend, she’s my sister,” David rushes out and Matteo’s try-hard tough exterior fades and he feels deflated. 

 

“Oh,” he says, his eyes watering again but this time with relief rather than hurt and jealousy. David smiles softly at him and pulls him back down into his seat, Matteo just lets himself but pulled down. 

 

“Awe were you jealous?” David mocks, Matteo rolls his eyes and wishes away the blush that is threatening to make a reappearance. 

 

“And what if I was?” he asks with all the fake confidence he can muster, he knows David can see right through him but he couldn’t care less. 

 

"Well if that was the case I'd say that would be pretty cute of you. Come to think of it, everything about you is pretty cute," David says lowly, his eyes changing from looking at Matteo's eyes to his lips. 

 

Matteo doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know if he could speak at the moment. Something clicks at the back of his head, something that makes him want to run away from everyone for a while but also makes him want to lean into the warm feeling into his chest. Let the warmness envelop him, fall right into it. 

 

"I could say the same to you," he says back this throat dry and his heart beating fast. He leans away from David and averts his eyes. 

 

He grips his script tightly in both hands and gets ready for the fall. 


	4. can't get over you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll, i hope you liked this chapter (cause it's the only one you're getting this week lmao) my tumblr is @darkdodielove if you wanna yell at me over this 
> 
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

The whole way back to the flatshare his brain is screaming at and will not shut up. All it will let him register is the fact David called him cute and in turn, he basically called David cute too. He called a guy cute, that guy is David, he called David cute. Matteo just wants his brain to shut up. 

 

He fumbles for his keys for the apartment building and jams them in the lock, he opens the door and races up the stairwell adjusting his backpack straps so it doesn’t slip off his shoulders as he takes the stairs two at a time, holding the key for the flatshare between his thumb and forefinger. He unlocks the door and makes a run for his room, not wanting to talk to this flatmates right now. 

 

He gets to his room, throws his bag to the floor and throws himself down on his bed face first. He can’t stop thinking about the boy with the deep brown eyes and the soft laugh, the boy with the long eyelashes and the stupid septum ring that drives him crazy. 

 

He toes off his shoes without looking and groans loudly. He pushes himself up slightly and crawls to the end of his bed, he flips himself around and stares at the ceiling with his head hanging off the edge of his bed. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, a blush creeping up his neck again when he remembers David’s face when he called Matteo pretty. 

 

He opens his eyes and turns his head to stare at his backpack, he reaches out for it causing half of his body to fall off the bed but he grabs his bag and with the little strength he has, pushes himself back up onto the bed. He sits down with his legs crossed on the middle his bed, he digs through his bag and pulls out the new rolled-up script. 

 

Matteo spends the next few hours reading through the whole thing, saying a line a few times, covering the page with his hand and saying it out loud. When he gets to the last page, the kiss scene, his heart starts racing when he sees a huge love heart around the words “Romeo then places a hand upon Juliet's cheek and passionately kisses him.” 

 

Next to the printed words are words written in pen, “I can’t wait,” in neat, near calligraphy writing and Matteo feels like he could die all over again. He throws the script the ground, suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions are that are causing the burning feeling in his chest. The script lands with a loud slap on the wooden floor, he lays back down and tries to figure out the emotions he’s feeling. 

 

His phone buzzes a few time but he ignores it in favour of glaring up at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest. He’s angry because he has all of these feelings, feelings that he can’t name or even begin to explain. His phone buzzes again, he groans, sits up and searches through his bag to find it, he tips his bag upside down and shakes it when he can’t find it. Pens, loose-leaf sheets of paper and a few random things fall into his lap and finally his phone. 

 

He picks up the pens and the sheets of paper and starts shoving them back into his bag. A folded sheet of paper catches his eye, the corner of it coloured in with green pen, he picks it up and unfolds it and screams through his teeth because of another flutter of unexplained feelings that cut through his cheat like knives. 

 

He stares at the paper again, he feels stupid that a rough sketch of a bottle of vodka next to a bottle of apple juice can make him feel so much. He folds the page up again and holds it to his chest, he grabs his phone and lays down on his side. He opens his phone and scrolls through his notifications, a couple of texts from the group chat, an Instagram notification and four texts from an unknown number. 

 

He puts in his passcode and clicks into his texts. 

 

**7:36 pm from an unknown number: Hey Matteo.**

 

**7:36 pm from an unknown number: It’s David.**

 

**7:38 pm from an unknown number: Amira gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind.**

Matteo smiles so wildly he feels like his face could split in two, he creates a new contact and saves the number. He laughs when he thinks of what to reply, he types the message and hits send. 

 

**7:45 pm from Matteo: Oh hey Romeo, are you outside my window?**

 

He puts his phone down in front of him and waits, he stares at the phone and wills it to buzz with a text. He waits twenty minutes before kicking his phone to the other side of the bed and gets up. He walks out to the kitchen and looks through the fridge, he makes a mental note to go shopping after school tomorrow. 

 

He grabs out the sliced cheese and closes the fridge purposely taking his time so that when he gets back to his room he might have a message from David. Once he’s made himself a sandwich he trudges back to his room, glaring at anything and everything that crosses his path. When he gets back to his room he grabs his laptop off the desk in the corner of the room and drapes a blanket over his shoulders like a cap. 

 

He finds his phone tangled in the sheets and almost throws it at the wall when there are no new notifications. He sits down on his bed against his pillows and opens his laptop, he pulls up Netflix and puts on a show for background sound. He opens up the text thread on his phone again and reads the messages over and over. He takes a bite of his sandwich and starts to worry that maybe his text was so cringy that David had died. 

 

He groans and throws his phone down on the other side of the bed. He shoves the rest of his food in his mouth, takes the plate to the sink and mopes his way back to bed. He drapes the blanket back over his head and sits with his chin rested on his knee’s. 

 

His phone buzzes and he nearly pushes his laptop off the best in an attempt to grab the phone. His heart leaps of his chest when he sees David’s name flash on the screen. 

 

**8:29 pm from David: Not yet my Juliet, what is my dearest and darling Juliet doing after school tomorrow?**

 

Matteo lets out a genuine scream of pure happiness and laughs when he hears Linn shout for him to shut up. 

 

**8:32 pm from Matteo: Well my Romeo, Juliet needs to go grocery shopping because he is nearly out of food and quite literally starving**

 

He texts back with a smile on his face. He holds the phone in his hand like it's something precious to be held away from the damaged world. His skin crawls when the phone buzzes. 

 

**8:34 pm from David: Meet me out the front of the auditorium after class? I need to go shopping too**

 

Matteo’s heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest, the sharp feeling in his chest is back, he stares at the messages and smiles despite the feeling of his chest being ripped to shreds. 

 

**8:37 pm from Matteo: It’s a date, I’ll meet you there**

 

He sends it before his brain can convince him otherwise. 

 

**8:37 pm from David: it’s a date, Juliet**

 

**8:38 pm from Matteo: goodnight, Romeo**


	5. every broken version of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!!! i know it's only like saturday or for sunday for some of you but for me it's monday so here is my weekly post!! my Tumblr is @darkdodielove if any of you wanna yell at me because of this!!
> 
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Matteo leans against the door to the auditorium, it gives out creak every few seconds from him leaning his whole weight on it. The place plays as a solid weight against his back, a reminder he is here in this moment. The door at the end of the hallways opens and he instantly stands up straighter but leans back against the door when the only people that walk through the door are a teacher and a few students. 

 

He pulls out his phone and checks the time, he sighs as another minute goes by, another minute David is late. He unlocks his phone and goes into their messages to make sure he has the right time. 

 

**10:30 am from David: Meet me at the auditorium at 3:30 pm?**

 

His eyes flick up the time on the left-hand corner of his screen. 3:45 pm, it reads. Matteo really didn’t think David would be the type of guy to not show up on the first date. He bites his lip as he types a message in and retypes it when he sounds too desperate, he deletes the message before he sighs and types it back in, he sends the message and puts his phone back in his pocket. 

 

**3:48 pm from Matteo: Hey Romeo, I’m out the front of the auditorium, where are you?**

 

‘Date’ is the one word that has been swirling around his head since last night, it echoed in his dreams and has had him walking around school like a zombie but instead of dragging broken limbs around and screaming for brains, he’s been dragging his 10-tonne brain around while groaning ‘date’ on repeat. 

 

Maybe he had scared David off with calling him ‘my Romeo’ or calling them going grocery shopping a 'date'. He groans and rubs his eyes with the ball of his hands. Before his brain can start spiralling into all the different reasons blew him off, he pushes off the door and starts walking towards the unlocked emergency exit door at the end of the hallway that opens up to the back of the school. Just as he’s about to push the door open, the main entrance door at the other end of the hallway slams open, the sound echoes loudly through the building. 

 

“Matteo?” a voice shouts, Matteo smiles as he almost automatically recognises the voice and he steps back around the corner the emergency exit is hidden behind. When David sees him he has a huge smile of relief on his face.  

 

“Hey you,” Matteo says with a smile, trying to hide his relief. He stops still in front of David and gives the boy a soft smile. David says nothing but smiles back at Matteo, his eyes look the boy up and down before taking another step forward. 

 

Matteo’s world slows to a stop when David lifts and opens his arms ever so slightly, his arms come up around Matteo’s neck and scratch at the hairs at the nape of his neck. Matteo tenses before he practically melts in David’s arms. He lifts his arms and wraps them around David’s waist, balling up the material in his fists. The other boy sighs and lays his head on Matteo’s chest, his forehead pressed against the base of Matteo’s neck.

 

“I thought you blew me off,” Matteo says quietly. For some reason, everything around David feels soft and quiet, Matteo feels as if he spoke too loudly or moved too quickly the world would stop turning and shatter into a million little pieces. He rests his chin on top of David's' head. David shakes his head softly as not to move Matteo’s head too much. Matteo huffs out a small almost laugh when Davids' hair tickles his neck. 

 

“I would never do that, the fucking sports teacher held me back to talk to me even though I told him like ten times I didn’t have time because I was meeting someone important,” David says with a sigh and Matteo tucks away the knowledge that David thinks he’s important for him to obsess over later but he nods his head and hums. If he wanted to he could just move his head slightly and plant a kiss on David’s forehead or he could tilt up the boys head and kiss his cheek or even his lips. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t even though he craves it, even though that's all this thought about since he met the boy. 

 

He doesn’t even know if David likes boys, or even if he likes him, he doesn’t want to scare David off so he lets go of the boy and steps back and if he wasn’t too caught up in his thoughts he would have caught the look of disappointment that flashed across David’s face as his hands fall off Matteo. They stare at each other, David’s eyes flicker between Matteo’s eyes and his lips for a few seconds, Matteo’s ducks his head and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He rocks on the balls of his heels for a few seconds before he looks up at David and clears his throat. 

 

“That's okay, are you ready to go?” Matteo asks, David nods his head and starts walking to the main exit with Matteo following behind him. As they walk through the empty school year they pass the sports teacher in the courtyard and Matteo glares at him. Once they leave the school ground they walk in silence to the store, every now and again their fingers brush and Matteo has to grabs onto the straps of his backpack to stop himself from grabbing David’s hand and threading their fingers together.

 

David turns to smile at him a couple of times and he smiles back at the boy so wide that his mouth hurt but he couldn’t help it, for the first time in a while he felt like he was floating on air, he was walking next to the boy he was on a sort of date with. He didn’t care that they weren't going to a restaurant or a museum like Jonas and Hanna on their first date, they could go to the world's worst football game he couldn’t care as long as he was with David.  

 

“How are you going with remembering the script?” David asks him when they walk into the store, Matteo hums as he grabs a basket. 

 

“Pretty alright I guess, I’ve been using the ‘look, cover, say’ method," Matteo says and asks David the same question. 

 

"I've had my script memorised for a week," David says, he rubs his nose with his palm a few times, the wind outside making his cheeks flush with a dusty pink colour, it makes Matteo want to kiss the apples of his cheeks, especially when he smiles. 

 

His eyes get caught on the septum ring, the small silver ring stands out against David's skin. Matteo touches his own septum subconsciously, he wonders what it would feel like against his cupid's bow if they kissed, he imagines the cool steel touching between his nose and top lip. 

 

"So what did you need to buy?" David asks as he pulls out his phone and clicks into his notes, he scrolls through a list of groceries. Matteo takes his bag off his shoulders and grabs the list that is tucked away in a little zip-up pocket inside the bag. He grabs out the folded up list and unfolds it, he hums and starts looking around to find the first item on the list. 

 

"I need milk, eggs, bread, a bottle of soda, Linn needs me to get her pads, some apples and whatever else I think I need," he says, David disappears from his side for a moment before he comes back pushing a shopping trolley. Matteo puts back the basket and walks beside David as he pushes the cart through the hoards of people that are rushing around.

 

They walk in silence, the sounds of people, a voice over the PA system and the broken shopping cart wheel groaning filters the dry silence between them. Matteo always the person to feel like he needs to disrupt the silence to make things less awkward, stays quiet, enjoying watching the madness unfold in front of him. 

 

"Did you find the drawing I snuck in your bag?" David asks moments later, he grabs a bag of chips off the shelf. Matteo ducks his head and smiles to himself. 

 

"Yeah, I really love it. I keep it next to my bed," he says but cringes when he realizes how creepy that must sound. He lifts his head to look at David who smiles at him, he has a dark red flushed across his cheeks instead of the dusty pink from the wind. 

 

"I'm glad you like it," David says with a soft smile. They walk around a little bit more and grab the things they need and want. 

 

"Are you nervous about performing in front of a large crowd?" Matteo asks him as he grabs a loaf of bread off the shelf and places it in the cart, he turns back to the shelf and grabs a packet of doughnuts, he turns and blushes but smiles at David who rolls his eyes playfully. 

 

"Not really, at my old school, I was always in plays and theatre classes. I always wanted to perform, I even thought about doing it professionally for a while. But for me, there is a sort of calm that comes with being on stage and a certain thrill that comes with performing. When I changed schools, the first thing I did was look into what type of theatre classes and programs the school offered," David says as they start walking again, Matteo nods his head as he listens to David talk, not feeling the need to ask questions, he just lets the boy talk. 

 

"What about you? Are you nervous?" David asks. 

 

"I'm going to be honest with you dude, I haven't actually thought about the fact I'm going to be performing in front of a crowd. I wasn't even meant to be in the play," he says the last part quietly but David hears it. 

 

"What do you mean?" David asks, he looks at Matteo suspiciously but with an air of amusement. 

 

"Well Amira kinda blackmailed me into doing the play because I tried to hide a bag of weed at Kiki's place when the cops busted up one of her parties," Matteo says, he usually wouldn't find something like this funny but something about saying it in front of someone, especially David, it becomes quite ridiculous. 

 

"That definitely sounds like something Amira would do," David says with a laugh and an eye roll. 

 

"And I definitely didn't pin you to be the type of guy to be into theatre, definitely not romantic theatre," David says with a laugh in his voice. Matteo rolls his eyes and pretends to be offended. 

 

"Hey, that's unfair, I can be very romantic," he says in a defensive tone. David shakes his head and laughs. 

 

"Oh yeah, like how our first date is going grocery shopping?" David asks with a soft smile. 

 

Matteo's brain completely stops and he almost drops the bag of apples he's holding in his arms. He has to remind himself to keep walking next to David because his legs have just stopped working on their own. He feels as though he's high but he knows for a fact he's not, maybe it's just David. Or maybe it's love, he pushes that thought deep deep down and locks it away. 

 

"I think a grocery shopping date is very romantic and it's right on brand for me," Matteo says once he's forced his brain to start working again. 

 

"Can't argue with that," David laughs, he pushes his weight on the handle of the cart and pulls himself up, the cart gliding along the floor without any steering. Matteo laughs as he realizes the situation he's in, he's on a date with a guy in a grocery store doing shopping, watching the boy glide down the aisle while letting out a laugh of pure happiness. He shakes his head at how ridiculous the boy in front of him is. David stops by planting his feet back down on the floor halfway down the aisle and turns back around to look at Matteo who is still at the start of the aisle, he shouts for him to hurry up with earns him a few glares from the people that are around but Matteo laughs and starts walking faster toward the other boy. 

 

"Dude, you're gonna get us kicked out," Matteo says with a laugh. David just rolls his eyes and glares back at an old woman who shoots a nasty at glare at them. That's when Matteo realizes how different they really are, David glides down grocery store aisles on shopping carts, he reaches out to people to make conversations and glares back at people while Matteo would have turned away, cursing himself for being so loud and made a rush for the exit. 

 

David can see Matteo shrinking in on himself, closing himself off so he grabs the boys hand, his heart leaping into his throat and threads their fingers together. His mind goes a mile a minute as he stares at Matteo who stares at their linked hands. Matteo slowly raises his head and smiles shyly at David, he squeezes David’s hand and smiles when David squeezes his hand in return. 

 

Neither of them let go as they start to grabs the things they need, Matteo tries to think nothing of it, excusing it on David wanting to help soothe his nerves but he can’t stop his chest from aching or the butterflies in his stomach when David laughs or smiles at him. 

 

He doesn’t understand his feelings or what they mean but for now, he just smiles back at David. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BABIES FROM THIS ASEXUAL LESBIAN!!!! BE SAFE AND HAVE A FABULOUS MONTH.


	6. Ancient Greece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! so druck is back baby!!! i'm so excited!!! also the title of this chapter is a joke and is aimed at a bisexual rat who will see this and most likely comment something along the lines of "go find your inhaler bitch" 
> 
> TW: mentions of suicide because of Romeo and Juliet's double suicide 
> 
> sorry if this chapter is a bit shit, I've been really stressed lately with my exams and shit so I had to rush this one out.
> 
> my tumblr is @darkdodielove  
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

The next couple of months are filled with rehearsal after rehearsal, by the time it’s a week from opening night, Matteo could practically recite the entire play in his sleep and could visualise all of the stage movements in his head. He could close his eyes and see and feel David caressing his cheek, he could feel all the emotions Juliet could feel in the moment her father forbid her from seeing Romeo, he could see the phantom of the stage rumble underneath his feet as Capulet and Montague's dialogue overlapped, sharing the same speech in the same furious voice. He could mirror David’s expressions of love, sadness, despair and sorrow but also happiness when  Romeo and Juliet were able to steal moments away together from the war between the two families, a rare moment of paradise.

 

The stage props are all painted, transportable and ready for the crowds of people that have bought tickets for the show. The modern city backgrounds transform the auditorium into a different world once all the lights have dimmed. The costumes have all been planned, when Sam showed Matteo the floral jacket they wanted him to wear, he had laughed but once he put it on, he fell in love with it. Matteo and David had raided Matteo’s closet one night in an attempt to plan their own costumes because the costumes Sam had picked out were three sizes too big and looked like someone had dressed themselves in the dark.

 

Matteo stares at them in the mirror in the clothes they thought best fitted the modern spin of Romeo and Juliet. David dressed himself in a black shirt with white patches and white leaves, a sword pin on his collar picked out by the costume crew, Matteo wearing an angel wings pin on the exact same spot.

 

David sorts through Matteo shoes, he picks up a pair of worn and dirty white air force 1s and throws a pair of black air force 1s at Matteo for him to wear.

 

“White for Juliet and black for Romeo. Kind of the opposite,” David says with a smile. Matteo smiles at him and looks at him in the mirror, his eyes looking at the other boy up and down from the shoes to the jeans and the shirt.

 

“You look really nice in my clothes,” he mumbles as he sits down sideways on the bed, one of his legs tucked up underneath him, David blushes and ducks his head. Something in his brain clicks as he stares at the side of David's face, the tight knots in his stomach unravel. He knows what he’s been feeling, what he’s been trying to ignore for the last few months, the tight feeling in his chest and the way his brain would malfunction whenever David would smile at him. He wants to scream it from the rooftops, to whisper it in the dark to David but something stops him just before the words come out of his mouth, a deep seeded fear of rejection and loneliness rears its head and the words die in his throat.

 

They run through their lines once more before they turn their backs to each other and get changed back into their own clothes from before, they settle into a comfortable silence on opposite sides of Matteo’s bed, David lies against the pillows reading a book and Matteo is at the end of the bed leaning on a triangle shaped back pillow while scrolling through Instagram, their legs overlapping each other. Every now and then Matteo looks up and smiles at David who seems unaware he is being admired.

 

“Matteo?” David asks, breaking the silence. Matteo looks up at him from his phone, David has one knee raised and has the book he’s reading open and balanced on his knee/

 

“Yeah,” Matteo says as he smiles at David who just shoves his hands in his pockets and averts his eyes, the muscles in his jaw twitches a few times as he moves his head. Matteo puts down his phone and twitches his nose.

 

“I wanna tell you something,” David says, he’s quiet for a while obviously in thought. Matteo doesn’t speak but he prods David’s leg with his foot causing David to snap out of his thoughts and look up at Matteo.

 

“I’m trans,” he says finally, he breathes out as if he’s been holding his breath all his life and Matteo realizes that yeah, David probably has been holding his breath for his entire life. David stares at him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly agape. Matteo smiles at him and nods his head.

 

“Okay,” he says softly as he picks up his phone again but still holding eye contact with David.

 

“Okay?” David asks confused, a look of fear flashes across his face for a few seconds, he seems to hold his breath again, not daring to speak. Matteo smiles at him again.

 

“Okay,” he repeats, he turns his phone back on and resumes scrolls through Instagram with a smile on his face, he looks up and watches as David picks up his book and continues to read with a smile of relief on his face.

 

Matteo never saw Romeo and Juliet as a love story, he instead saw it as two stupid kids who convinced themselves they were in love and who wants to find some escape from their reality of their families being at war, a way to rebel. Their story is meant to be seen as the most romantic love story, two people who would rather die than not be together, rebellious children who defied their parent's orders.

 

Matteo sees nothing romantic in that.

 

“What do you think of Romeo and Juliet’s love story?” David had asked him one day after one of their final dress rehearsals, everyone had gone home or gone out for lunch, leaving them in an empty auditorium to run through the last minute changes Kiki had made to the script. They sat down on the edge of the stage, facing each other.

 

“I think it’s dumb,” Matteo says with a laugh as he looks up from his script and into Davids' eyes. David raises his eyebrows and tilts his head.

“Why?” he asks. Matteo sighs at the small but loaded question, he dog-ears the page corner and puts the script down as he prepares to launch into a speech about how dumb Romeo and Juliet were.

 

“I just think that they weren’t really in love with each other, they were caught in the middle of a war and they were young, looking for some escape from the reality they were living, when you add teenage rebellion to the mix then you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster. Juliet knew Capulet would never let her marry Romeo, so what do they do? They sneak off and do it anyways after only knowing each other for less than a day. Like they literally knew each other for two days before Romeo was a dumbass and killed Tybalt.”

 

David nods his head as he listens to Matteo rant about Romeo and Juliet being a pair of dumbass kids.

 

“I don’t think that I completely agree, like yeah, they were stupid and young but I think they really did love each other. When Romeo gets exiled after killing Tybalt, Juliet can’t fathom the idea of not having Romeo by her side that she agrees to the plan the friar preposes, drinking the sleeping potion knowing that it will bring Romeo to the Capulet tomb and when she wakes and sees her lover dead, she uses his dagger and stabs herself. They would rather have died then not be together, doesn’t everyone want to be loved like that? Loves so deeply that the person you’re with cannot bear to be without you,” David says, Matteo smiles at him softly and shakes his head.

 

“I can’t even imagine being so dependent on someone that you would kill yourself when they aren’t there with you. But I guess in that time they thought they would end up in heaven or some bullshit when they died. If that happened today, they would have had people calling them idiots,” Matteo says, a laugh rises but dies in his throat when he thinks about how serious things like that are.

 

“I’m guessing you're not a religious person then?” David asks with a laugh, Matteo chuckles and shakes his head.

 

“No, I’m not but my mum is, she goes to church every Sunday and prays and all that stuff. She raised me to believe in god. I even sang in the church choir,” Matteo says, he rolls his eyes when David laughs.

 

“What made you stop going to church and stop believing?” David asks. Matteo huffs out a breath and puffs out his cheeks acting as if there were many reasons but there is one. One reason why he stopped going, why he stopped believing and why he tells his mum no when she texts him and asks if he wants to attend with her.

 

One reason

 

He doesn’t want to say it out loud, knowing once he says it out loud he can never take it back because it makes it true instead of just a thought in his head or just a feeling when he looks at the boy across from him. He takes a deep breath, knowing he is going to say it.

 

“Because I like guys,” he says in a whisper, too afraid to say it any louder. He watches as Davids mouth forms into a smile, his eyes seem shiny as if they were filling with tears. David opens and closes his mouth a couple of times as Matteo sits quietly as he waits for David to say something.

 

“Me too,” David finally says and Matteo smiles back at him, feeling a strong wave of relief wash over him. They stare at each other for a while longer, the world quiet, a strange feeling passes through the room making Matteo shiver.

 

The words “I like you” are right on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them back down, knowing that it’ll change everything and right now, things are good.

 


	7. love fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! i'm sorry that this chapter is a bit late!! we have 2 more chapter's left :( it's been a ride you guys lmao. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety and a near panic attack 
> 
> My tumblr is @darkdodielove if you wanna yell at me because of this
> 
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

Matteo’s thumb hovers over the call button next to David’s contact, in the nickname section, it has Romeo with a crown emoji per David’s request. The last-minute nerves finally deciding to kick in. He spent the last twenty minutes pacing his room back and forth, thoughts racing through his mind. David has texted him twice but his hands were shaking too much to type back a message. He tried to calm himself down, knowing David would call him if he didn’t message back but that resulted in him panicking more.

 

He doesn’t want to bother David because with his thoughts and problems knowing that the boy was spending his night with his sister so he goes to Amira’s contact and pressed the call button. It rings twice before the call connects. 

 

“Hey man,” Amira says happily once the call connects. Mateo opens his mouth to say something but the words don’t come out, his throat feels dry and his brain feels so foggy that he couldn’t think a coherent thought even if he tried, all that comes out of his mouth is a weak sigh. Amira stays quiet on the line because she knows what is going on because it’s happened before, Matteo’s anxiety has gotten the best of him before and he has called Amira. 

 

During mid-year exams, Amira found him having a panic attack in an empty back hallway during lunch after he failed two of his exams. She was able to stop him from getting worse, they sank to the floor opposite each other and Amira talked to him about her day, how her brothers were, something funny Hanna said and after a little while, Matteo could talk about his exams without hyperventilating. 

“What’s going on Matteo?” Amira asks softly and Matteo’s bottom lip shakes and his heart beats in his ears as he holds back tears. 

 

“I’m not sure, I’m really worried about the play,” Matteo says, he brings his fingers up to his mouth and chews on his thumbnail. Amira sighs and moves around, her end of the call becoming muffled. Her voice becomes clear again and she’s telling him to just breathe in and out, the sound of her breathing is audible through the phone, Matteo breathes in deeply and breathes out slowly a few times, his heart rating slowly and his breath coming out without a shutter. 

 

“Okay, so just talk me through what you’re thinking,” Amira says softly, Matteo breathes in and out again. 

 

“I just keep thinking about forgetting my lines in the middle of the show and making everyone hate me because I ruined it,” he says, his eyes water again and he tried to blink back tears.as the thought of everyone hating him, specifically making David hate him, that thought making the tears come back and spill over. He swipes the tears away and relaxed a little as Amira making a shushing noise. 

 

“Dude that's just your brain fucking with you. You’ve been practising your lines day and night, you could practically recite your lines in your sleep. Even if you did forget your lines, nobody would hate you. Especially not David,” he hears Amira mutter that last part, he smiles at David’s name.

 

“I know that but I just feel like I would panic and my mind would go blank,” Matteo says with a sigh. Talking to Amira is lifting some of the weight and panic off his chest but the thought of messing up still causing his heart to race. 

 

“It happens to everyone, you know when movies and shows release bloopers and the actors ask for their lines,” Amira says,  Matteo hums and nods to himself, “even the best actors have it happen to them, whether it be live or on set. If you have a supportive and caring cast, it shouldn’t be something you need to worry about and if I do say so myself, our cast is pretty supportive and caring. It's a completely valid worry to have, I'd actually be more shocked if you weren't worried about that but I just need you to know that you are going to be fine.” 

 

Matteo breathes out and sits down on his bed, he smiles a little bit know that Amira will always have his back. 

 

“You’re the best,” Matteo tells her with a light laugh and he can practically hear Amira roll her eyes. 

 

“I know,” she says. Matteo laughs and smiles.

 

Ever since he found out he got the part, it’s always been a constant thought on his mind that he wasn’t good enough, that he didn’t deserve the part, that he was terrible and everyone would make fun of him for playing a usually female-oriented part but after seeing how kind everyone was to each other and to him, it was really easy to get along with everyone. 

 

When Matteo first started going to rehearsals and they pair off into two’s go to run lines, he would only choose to run lines with David or Amira, he was too embarrassed to run lines with anyone else but once he got to know everyone he would pair off with Mia or Sara who would hit on him the whole time but it was nice to see other people’s acting style.  

 

He says goodbye to Amira after they talked for a little while longer and he texts David back, trying not to worry the other boy. Thinking about the fact that he has to perform tomorrow sets a little bit of panic in him but at the same time, butterflies fly around his stomach. The fear from before hasn’t gone away but it’s subsided enough for him to be able to be at least a little bit excited. 

 

He’s already seen David in his Romeo costume but under the spotlight of the auditorium and in his stage makeup? He hasn’t. The thought of seeing David under the stage lights sends chills through his spine and sends another load of butterflies straight to his stomach. 

 

There is one thing he’s been putting off for the last few months and there is nothing better than doing it last minute on an adrenaline-fueled panic, he sends a message to his mum and his dad letting them both know about the play he’s in tomorrow night but he leaves out the part where he’s playing Juliet in fear of what they might say. 

 

He gets a text from the cast group chat from Kiki telling everyone to be at the auditorium by nine in the morning for last minute rehearsal, last minute changes and just to get ready for the show later on in the night, she also reminds everyone that there is a cast party after the show. He smiles when David sends back a stupid gif of Santa Claus dancing in front of a SpongeBob background. 

 

Matteo reminds himself that everything is going to be fine tomorrow and that everything is going to go according to plan. Excitement and nerves rushing through him all night long but he can’t help the feeling that something will go wrong 


	8. Are we allowed to want it to mean something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! yes, I am indeed alive. I had to take a break last week because of some family stuff but i'm back and i'm okay. I thought I'd switch things around and write this in David's pov. There is more notes at the bottom please please please read. 
> 
> my tumblr is @darkdodielove if you wanna yell at me. 
> 
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

The stage has been David's home ever since he was little, it made him feel alive. When he was six his mother put him into community theatre much to his dislike, he actually enjoyed it. His first time performing in front of an audience was when he was seven, they did a rendition of Cinderella and he was cast as the lead, the Cinderella. That's when he first noticed something was different about him, the dresses they put him in made his skin itch and something in him screamed that this wasn't right. 

 

As he grew up, his mother continued to put him in more acting classes, dance and even music lessons much to his father's dismay who if he had things his way would have put David into football, tennis or soccer, all of the things David hated. 

 

Laura was the one in the family that liked sports. David rolled his eyes every time she begged him to come along to one of her games just as she'd mockingly gag when David asked her to come to his shows but they supported each other and went to all the games and shows. 

 

When they were young, they didn't get along, as siblings do but as they grew up, they became closer, they confided in each other. 

 

Laura was the first person David came out as trans to and in turn, she came out to him as a lesbian. They both knew that their parents wouldn't accept them so they ran, they ran as fast as they could. They found a low rent apartment, both got jobs and put David through school. They were teenagers but they forced to grow up too quickly. 

 

As soon as Laura was eighteen, she took over as David’s legal guardian.  

 

When he got outed at his old school, Laura marched down to the school and screamed at the principal, signed David's exit from and enrolled him into a new school. 

 

They eventually told their parents but they were right, their parents didn't accept them, they knew it, that didn't mean it hurt any less though but they had each other. 

 

When David started at the new school Matteo was the first person he saw, the shaggy-haired boy was walking in the hallway with his friends, one of the boys he recognised from class, the boy had asked to borrow his class notes a few weeks before that. 

 

David mostly kept to himself for the first few months before one day Kiki pounced on him after she saw him looking at the audition sign up sheet, she gave him an early audition for Romeo and he got the part. 

 

When he saw Matteo walk into the auditorium, he knew that the boy would get the Juliet part, there was a feeling in his stomach, something that told him that this boy would be his perfect counterpart, two people cut from the same cloth. But he was wrong, in the best way, once he got to know the boy, he realised how different they really were, Matteo didn't like parties while David thrived in the midst of a party, Matteo liked to get high while David didn't like weed, it made him feel paranoid and anxious where weed helps Matteo to relax.

 

David always saw Romeo and Juliet as a love story, a tragic story but a love story nonetheless. A story of two people who would rather die than to be without each other, something David saw as the ultimate concept of eternal love. 

 

He had gotten to the auditorium at nine on the day of the show, people were starting to slowly trickle in, a few people were milling around on the stage still in their pyjamas. Laura came in behind him, shoving her car keys in her bag, giving him a kiss on the cheek and making a straight b-line to her group of friends. David looks around and his eyes catch on Matteo who was sitting on the edge of the stage next to Amira, a cup of coffee to his side as scrolled to his phone, he nodded his head as Amira said something. He looked up and caught David’s eye, smiling at him and looking back to Amira. 

 

David made his way down the walkway and cut across the seats to get to the stage and to get to Matteo. 

 

“I think this is the earliest I’ve seen you awake,” David says with a laugh, Amira chuckles and raises her hand and David high fives her. 

 

“True,” she says, Matteo rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a sarcastic laugh.

 

“Haha, I just love my two best friends roasting me at nine in the morning,” he says with fake hurt in his voice and David smiles at him as he ignores the way his heart stings when Matteo refers to him as a friend but despite the hurt, he smiles at the fact Matteo considers him his best friend. He pulls himself up onto the stage and throws his bag towards the pile of backpacks and handbag that have all been haphazardly thrown towards the side of the stage, he sits next to Matteo and laughs at the meme Matteo shows him. About an hour later everyone had decided to arrive and Kiki gathers everyone around the stage, a few people sitting in the front row, a few people sitting on the stage and a few on the floor in front of the first row. 

 

“Good morning everyone,” she says loudly and even David thinks she is too cheerful for this time of the morning.

 

“I just wanted to start off by saying, we made it you guys,” Kiki says with a huge smile and before David knows it he is smiling the widest he has ever smiled, a few people let out cheers and  hurrahs, he turns to look at the boy next to him and they share a smaller secret smile. 

 

“I wanna thank you all for working super hard, putting all your afford in with creating the sets, practising and for just being all around amazing, we all know that at the after show party I’m going to get super drunk and probably do another drunk speech about how much I love you all,” Kiki is interrupted by everyone laughing, she laughs and waves her hands to silence everyone. 

 

“So that's enough of that sappy bullshit for now. I wanna talk about what needs to be done today, we are gonna have a rehearsal in just your normal clothes and then later on when everyone has their makeup and costumes on, we will do a dress rehearsal but for now, I need everyone to make sure you have your scripts on you and for the makeup and costume crew that you have all of the costumes, props and makeup ready for later on,” Kiki says and everyone snaps into action, going to their bags to grab their scripts and the people in the makeup and costume crew going backstage to check over everything. 

 

Once everyone has grabbed their scripts and everything they need, they set up for the first scene. 

 

When Kiki had come to David and proposed the idea of a modern-day Romeo and Juliet with two guys instead, he was ecstatic, instead of two families at actual war, it’ll be a more modern war. A war of money, business, religion and above all, a war on love. The day Kiki gave him the script, he went home and read it aloud to Laura even though she had received the exact same script but she let him read it out to her because this was the first time in a long while she had seen her brother smile this freely and openly. The second time she had seen her brother smile so carefree was when he had pointed Matteo out to her at the casting party, she knew that boy was gonna but seeing her brother so happy beat down the big sister instinct that was rearing its head. 

 

David knew his sister was trying to hold back on giving him the whole “that boy is trouble” speech but he didn’t pay any mind to that. 

 

The rehearsal was over in the blink of an eye and before David knew it, it was lunchtime. Matteo had suggested that they find a spot in the empty hallway outside the auditorium to sit down and eat lunch. David grabs both of their bags from the huge cluster and follows Matteo outside, down a number of corridors and finally to a hidden corner, Matteo sinks to the floor and grabs the backpack David throws at him as he sits down opposite the boy, both of them leaning their backs against a wall. 

 

They are quiet, the sound of faint voices and music from the auditorium making its way to their little corner. David smiles as he recognises Laura’s laugh and sound of Amira’s laugh, the knowledge that his sister and his best friend makes his chest clench with happiness. 

 

“What are you most nervous about?” Matteo asks, breaking the silence between them, David searches through his bag to find the sandwich he knows Laura hid in there when he said he didn’t want to take food. He takes a bite of the sandwich as he thinks of his answer. Performing doesn’t scare him anymore, he used to be afraid of the stage before it became a safe place for him. But that doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have fears. 

 

“I guess I’m worried about disappointing everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m an amazing actor,” he says with fake cockiness and pretends to flip his hair over his shoulder, Matteo smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 

“I’ve been performing my whole life but I’m still worried about not doing my best and having people be disappointed in me,” he says and Matteo nods his head as if he understands every single word, every single syllable that leaves Davids mouth. 

 

“Trust me I totally fucking understand that. I’m so scared that I’m gonna forget my lines and fuck up the whole play and then everyone is gonna hate me,” Matteo says and it’s obvious that the boy has thought about this a lot. 

 

“We would  _ not  _ hate you if you messed up your lines because it happens to everyone,” David says putting an emphasis on not. Matteo stays and quiet, the silence returns. 

 

David knew it was going to be brought up at one point but he still wasn’t ready, the silence feels like the calm before the storm, the charged energy would zap them if the words were spoken and that's what happened. 

 

“What about the kiss, what does it mean for us?” Matteo asks he looks as nervous as David feels in that moment, all wide-eyed and shaking voice. David doesn’t know how to respond, doesn’t he respond honestly and run the risk of ruining the friendship they’ve created or does he lie, tell Matteo that it won’t mean anything, it’s all part of the job. 

 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he settles for. If David is honest with himself, he doesn’t know what he wants but he knows that he will take anything Matteo will give him whether that be friendship or something more, something deeper then just friendship, something that would ease his mind and racing heart whenever Matteo simply smiled at him. 

 

“Are we allowed to want it to mean something?” 

 

“I don’t know,” David answers in a whisper. 

 

“Do you want it to mean something?” Matteo asks him. David just shrugs. 

 

“I don’t know,” he says again. 

 

“What if I want it to mean something?” 

 

“Well then that's a you problem,” David says jokingly and for the first time that day, Matteo laughed. 

 

“I’m being serious,” Matteo says after he finishes laughing. 

 

“I think I might want it to mean something too,” David answer, the words feel weird in his mouth and in his head, he just told Matteo he wanted their future kiss to mean something. He’s not totally oblivious, he knows when someone has more than friendly feelings for him but he thought that he might have just been looking too far into it with Matteo because he has feelings for the boy but hearing Matteo say that he wants the kiss to mean something sets him off. 

 

They go through their final dress rehearsal and he can’t stop smiling. Seeing everyone act in their costumes was something magical, he waits in the wing waiting for his cue to walk on stage, he chuckles quietly as the Montague and Capulet wives played by Sara and Leonie made love heart eyes at each other while they were meant to be focusing on their husbands. 

 

Once dress rehearsal was over, they all rush back to behind the stage a few minutes before the doors open and the audience starts to take their seats. The costume crew is doing last checks making sure no shirt is too baggy or no shoelaces are undone. 

 

He watches peek around the corner of the backstage as everyone files in and takes their seats, he gasps and pushes himself away from the spot he was just in. 

 

“Are you okay?” David asks him. Matteo's eyes are glassy, he tilts his head back and fans his eyes to make sure the tear won’t fall and ruin the makeup they put on him. 

 

“My parents are here,” he says. Matteo never went into much detail about his family but David knows this is a big deal so he pulls the boy into a hug and lets him go a second later even though he wanted to hold the boy forever. 

 

Kiki comes from the back and calls the people in scene 1. Matteo and David fall to the back as the people in scene one get set up, Laura runs past them, gives David a kiss on the cheek and he wishes her good luck so winks and steps out onto the stage. 

 

They watch from the wing a few people come off the stage and the people in scene 2 walk on, Kiki calls for people in scene 3 to get read. David looks at himself in the mirror and nods, he walks to the lip of the stage and to the front of the group. 

 

“See you out there Juliet,” he says to Matteo with a wink as he steps onto the stage.

 

It was almost over in a blink and before David knew it he was standing opposite Matteo, this was the part they were meant to kiss, they walked towards each other and the audience  

stripped away, the auditorium stripped away and they were longer Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, they were Matteo and David, soulmates that found their way back to each other. 

 

Their lips collided, David knew this was meant to be Romeo and Juliet kissing but he put as much of himself into it as he could and he knew Matteo was doing the same. 

 

They separated and David knew they were would return to this later when it’s only them, no audience, no Romeo and no Juliet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: I need some help to make a decision!! So this chapter is David's pov of show day so should i do Matteo's pov of show day as the next chapter? please leave your thoughts in the comments or shoot me an ask or message on tumblr @darkdodielove


	9. Drifting and floating and fading away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! so I'm posting this chapter today because I won't be able to post next week so this is my way of saying sorry!!
> 
> Also yes! this is Matteo's pov!
> 
> sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

Matteo had been up since six that morning, his nerves had crept into his dreams somehow, he woke up from a dream of forgetting his lines mid-play and the crowd beginning to boo him while the cast glared daggers into his head. He knew he was beginning to spiral but he pushed through it, he read his script, picked some new memes for Instagram and get ready for the day. Mia still has a little bit of hostility left in her system towards him over him getting the role of Juliet instead of her but she still makes them breakfast in the morning so when he walks out of the bathroom Mia is in the kitchen making breakfast. 

 

“Thank you,” he says to her when she hands him a plate of toast and gestures to the two mugs of coffee sitting in the table, she doesn’t say much but she smiles at him, sits down, grabs one of the mugs and starts to eat her own toast. 

 

Amira had texted him last night after they got off the phone and she offered to walk with him to school, he had agreed. She rang the doorbell to the flatshare at exactly eight fifteen and he ran to open the door.

 

“Hey,” he says quietly, Amira furrows her eyebrows at the volume of his voice and steps into the apartment. She places her bag down on the bench they have next to the door and puts her coat on top of it. 

 

“Linn and Hans are still sleeping,” he says, Amira nods her head understandingly. Matteo leads her into the kitchen and pulls out a seat for her at the table. 

 

“Hey baby,” Amira says to Mia and gives her a kiss on the cheek. 

 

“How are you two feeling about the show today?” she asks them both. Matteo shrugs at the same time Mia does. 

 

“Well I’m pretty nervous,” Mia says and Matteo nods his head in agreement as does Amira. 

 

“I’m not even in the play and I’m nervous,” she says with a quiet laugh, Matteo smiles at her and takes a bite of his toast. 

 

“I’m obviously nervous but I’m excited too, I mean this is my first time performing in front of a large crowd so I’m bound to be nervous but like, I never dreamed of being Juliet and it wasn’t something I would have ever done in a million lifetimes but I’m excited to do something I would have never normally have done,” he says after he swallows his toast. Both Amira and Mia nod their heads.

 

“I totally get it man and though I still might be riddled with jealousy, I’m really happy for you dude, you’re gonna crush it, I’m so sure of it,” Mia says and Matteo is a little bit taken back because it is the most Mia has said since it was announced that he had gotten the part. 

 

“I can’t relate to the whole jealousy thing that Mia was talking about,” Amira says and Mia lets out a little laugh, “but I agree with what she said in that you’re gonna crush it. You’ve worked so hard on this, we all know you have.” 

 

“I’m actually kind of glad it’s nearly over because every single night I can hear you reading your script through the wall on repeat, I’ve had to stop Hans on more than one occasion from going into your room while you slept, stealing the script and putting it through the garbage disposal unit. He was more than prepared to do it,” Mia says with a laugh and they all burst out laughing, Hans bangs on the bedroom wall for them to shut up as they try to stifle their laughs. 

 

Mia and Matteo finish their food and coffee quietly and leave the flatshare with Amira. Alexander is waiting outside the flatshare in his car for Mia, he offers Matteo and Amira a ride but they tell him they would rather walk. 

 

They get to school and go straight to the music building where the auditorium is, they walk in and find they are almost the first people there, besides from Mia, Kiki, Sam and one or two other members of the cast that are sat in the middle of the stage talking. They walk up the stairs to the stage and grab a coffee each that Kiki offers them. 

 

“I thought there would be more people here by now,” Matteo says as he and Amira throw their bags in the small pile of backpacks and purses they people have thrown to the back of the stage. 

 

“It’s still early, give it some more time,” Amira says as they sit down on the edge of the stage. People started to slowly trickle in, he starts to notice more and more people coming in wearing their pyjamas. 

 

“I thought wearing pyjamas in public wasn’t socially acceptable?” he asks no one in particular. He smiles as Amira laughs a little next to him 

 

“It’s always acceptable on show day,” she says, Matteo smiles at her and laughs. He looks around at the mass of people that had finally decided to show up, he tries to locate David or Laura but he doesn’t see them. 

 

“Have you seen David or Laura?” he asks Amira, she looks around and shakes her head, Matteo sighs and pulls out his phone to text David to ask where he is. 

 

“Maybe he’s running late, though that doesn’t sound like him,” Amira says, he nods his head hums. He looks up one more time just before he sends the text to David but he scraps the message when he sees David’s eyes on him. He smiles as the boy cuts across a row of seats and stands in front of them with a smile. 

 

“I think this is the earliest I’ve seen you awake,” David says with a laugh, Amira chuckles and raises her hand and David high fives her.

 

“True,” Amira says with a laugh. Matteo rolls his eyes and chuckles. 

 

“I just love my two best friends roasting me at nine in the morning,” Matteo says and cringes almost instantly at him. He has no idea why he called David his best friend, it’s not like he could exactly say “I just love my best friend and a guy I’m highly attracted too but can’t tell him because we are about to kiss in like nine hours and I don’t know if it’s going to fuck things up, roasting me at nine in the morning.”

 

David pulls himself up onto the stage and greets everyone, he throws his backpack over to the now larger pile of backpacks and purses, then sits down on the edge of the stage next to Matteo, who for some reason unbeknownst to everyone, especially to himself, Matteo shows David a meme that he chose to post on Instagram, the other boy laughs but Matteo still feels weird. 

 

After he got off the phone with Amira last night, his nerves kept him awake for another reason than thinking about forgetting his lines, it was about the kiss with his Romeo, he was so close to just calling David to talk to him about, to confess that he wants the kiss to mean something more than just a stage kiss but he changed his mind at the last second, deciding that a conversation of this significance should be done in person. 

 

After a while, all of the cast and crew were together in the auditorium, people scattered up on the stage, a few people sitting down in the walks ways and a few people in the audience seats. Kiki gets up on the stage and calls for everyone's attention and that's where Matteo stops paying attention, he cheers when everyone else does but other than that he just stares vacantly at the side of David’s head. David turns at him and smiles at one point, Matteo smiles back at him and acts like he’s been paying attention the whole time. 

 

Once Kiki stops talking everyone starts to get up and head to their bags, Matteo notices a few people pulling out their scripts and people pulling the set and props onto the stage for the first scene. 

 

“What are you doing Juliet? Get backstage and get ready for the rehearsal,” Kiki yells from her seat in the front row and Matteo snaps into action. 

When it’s time for lunch, Matteo sees an opportunity to steal some time away with David so that they can talk about the play and about the kiss. He hears Amira suggest to Sam about inviting David to lunch with them so for the first time in Matteo’s life, he runs to get to David before Amira can get to him, when he sees Amira walking towards David he cuts her off and sticks his tongue out at her.

 

“Hey, do you wanna go find someplace to sit down and eat lunch?” he asks David who nods his head and smiles at him. Someone had moved the bags from the stage to a spread out pile backstage so they sort through all of the backpacks and purses to find their own bags. 

 

Matteo takes David to a little corner, he takes them through winding corridors and until they find the spot Matteo is looking for. They sit down and neither of them said anything, the sound of laughter and music drifts its way over to them, David smiles at the laughter. Matteo doesn’t want to break the silence, there is something calming about David’s presence even if he is screaming the loudest he can or is as silent as he is now but something in Matteo tells him to break the silence, say something. 

 

“What are you most nervous about?” he asks quietly, David grabs his food out of his bag and takes a bite. Matteo searches through his bag before realizing he had forgotten to grab himself lunch, David seems to notice this and he throws Matteo a breakfast bar, Matteo smiles at him and ducks his head. 

 

“I guess I’m worried about disappointing everyone. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m an amazing actor,” David says and pretends to sweep his hair over his shoulder, Matteo smiles at him slightly and throws the breakfast bar into his bag for later. 

 

“I’ve been performing my whole life but I'm still worried about not doing my best and having people be disappointed in me,” David continues and Matteo gets that, holy shit he fucking gets that, he nods his head to try to convey to David in a silent way that he feels that way too. 

 

“Trust me I totally fucking understand that. I’m so scared that I’m gonna forget my lines and fuck up the whole play and then everyone is gonna hate me,” Matteo says in a rush, David smiles at him sympathetically and Matteo blushes. 

“We would  _ not  _ hate you if you messed up your lines because it happens to everyone,” David says reassuringly and it makes Matteo feel a little bit better. The silence between them returns and Matteo has to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking that dreaded question, he could go the rest of the show without asking the question, he could never ask it if he really wanted but looking at David's face now, Matteo knows he has to ask it now or he’ll never ask it. 

 

“What about the kiss, what does it mean for us?” he asks trying to control the nerves in his voice and the world around them goes quiet, the noise from the auditorium fades away, the sound of cars and people running on the concrete outside disappears. 

 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” David finally asks in a voice that sounds like he’s offering a deal or that's one option. Matteo’s heart sinks and he feels his body deflate, his eyes prickle with tears and he blinks them away, willing himself not to cry in front of David. 

 

“Are we allowed to want it to mean something?” Matteo asks quietly, he shocks himself at the newfound confidence he finds in himself. 

 

“I don’t know,”

 

“Do you want it to mean something?” Matteo asks him. David just shrugs at him. Matteo wants to run as far away as he can, he doesn’t give a shit about the show or the fact that Mia would willingly take his spot if he did bale and for a split second, he thinks that perhaps Mia is behind this whole thing. 

 

“What if I want it to mean something?” he asks in a whisper. 

 

“Well then that's a you problem,” David says jokingly and despite how shit Matteo feels right at that moment, he laughs. 

 

“I’m being serious,” Matteo says after that short burst of laughter. David smiles at him and with a blush on his face he says,

 

“I think I might want it to mean something too.”

 

Matteo goes through the rest of the day with a smile on his face. Before he knows it, they are all being rushed backstage as the doors open and the crowd starts to take their seats. 

 

‘Is that really necessary? I think even Juliet had acne, it’s not like they had proactive back then,” he complains when Sam pushes him down into a seat and starts to apply more foundation, Hanna had already put a little bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner on him but Sam thought he needed more. 

 

“Shut up,” she says with a laugh. After she finishes with his makeup, he gets up and decides to poke his head around the corner of the backstage area to look out at the audience. He spots Abdi, Carlos and Jonas straight away as they basically climb over other people to get to their seats, Matteo laughs at his dumbass friends. He watches Jonas stop still in the middle of the row and stare at something with his mouth agape, Matteo follows the direction that Jonas is facing and Matteo’s heart almost beats out of his chest. 

 

Stands at the back row are his parents, he steps away from the corner and against his will, his eyes start to water. He tilts his head back and fans his eyes, knowing that Sam and Hanna will both kill him if he cries off his makeup. 

 

“Are you okay?” David asks him and Matteo can’t speak for a moment, he continues to fan his eyes until he thinks he can tilts his head back down without the tears falling. 

 

“My parents are here,” he says after a little while, David nods his head understandingly and at that exact moment Kiki comes storming through whisper yelling. 

 

“Everyone in scene one, get your props and get ready to go on stage,” she whisper-yells. Matteo and David move to the back to get out of everyone's way. David’s sister runs past them and kisses David on the cheek and Matteo hears him whisper good luck to her. They aren’t on till later so they sit down on the ground and watch as everyone panics in trying to find their correct props, Matteo hands a girl a fake cane and she smiles at him. 

 

A few people miss their cues and sometimes the music doesn’t play at the right time, Kiki is in the left wing and Matteo and David are in the right wing and they can’t see her but they know that she’ll be ripped her hair out. 

 

They watch from backstage as they go through the scenes and Kiki comes storming through behind the stage background, she made sure they left a gap between the wall and the background piece so that she could get through to each side of the stage without the audience seeing her.

 

She tells them to get ready because they are on in thirty seconds before disappearing back behind the stage piece. Matteo tries not to think about the kiss, tries not to think about his parents in the audience and tries not to think about anything but the show. 

 

They both stand up and check themselves in the mirror, David enters first so he goes to the front of the group. 

 

“See you out there Juliet,” David says to him with a wink before he steps onto the stage. Matteo watches as he recites his first line and even though Matteo has heard him say that line more times then he can count, there is something captivating about the stage lights on him as he says the line and Matteo can’t help but stare. After a few minutes, he’s being pushed to the front and he realizes that it’s his turn to walk on stage. 

 

His cue hits, his heart is beating in his ears, he takes a deep breath and walks onto the stage. He hears a few cheers that come from the mouths of his friends in the audience, he has to stop himself from smiling, he can’t really see the crowd because of the spotlight shining in his eyes, it makes it easier for him to say his first line. 

 

They go between the stage and backstage for a while, Matteo has to psych himself up for the kissing scene, David is already on the stage and Matteo walks on, they say their lines and before Matteo knows it, he’s leaning in to kiss David or rather Romeo. The world doesn’t stop, the audience doesn’t go away, there are no fireworks, it’s just David and Matteo, two boys kissing in front of an audience. But Matteo isn’t thinking about that, he isn’t thinking about kissing in front of the audience or his friends or his religious mother, he just enjoys the feeling of kissing the boy that he’s been dreaming about kissing for months. 

They break apart and Matteo hears his friends wolf-whistle and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, both David and Matteo lean their foreheads together and smile, the audience might think that it’s Romeo and Juliet smiling at each other and that it was Romeo and Juliet kissing but Matteo and David know that everything that just happened on the stage was real and it was between them. 

 


	10. Guys my age

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its the last chapter my dude!!!! (read the notes at the bottom for a more emotional thank you note!!) This is fucking wild. Also, Amira's season starts tomorrow!!!!!! Thank you all so so much for your comments, kudo's, bookmarks and reads, they all mean so much to me. and for the last time, 
> 
> My tumblr is @darkdodielove if you wanna yell at me because of this  
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes

The music is pumping through Matteo’s veins alongside too many shots of vodka to count, the potent liquid making a warm feeling burst across his chest and makes his head feel like it’s filled with cotton. 

 

The room is filled with dancing bodies, loud music, smoke and to top it all off, flashing lights that really mess with a drunk person's vision. He had purposefully avoided David until he had a confidence boost or in Jonas’ words, “alcohol and a lot of it.” 

 

The moment the play ended Matteo was panicking backstage. Jonas, Abdi and Carlos had come backstage to congratulate David and Matteo for how well they did but instead, they had found Matteo crouched down on the floor with his head between his knees. Jonas knew it was it about his parents being in the audience and was quick to reassure him that his mother was smiling the whole time. 

 

“What about my dad?” Matteo had asked after he had calmed down. Jonas just looks at him and Matteo knows that it's not good. 

 

"He walked out," Jonas says with a sigh and Matteo feels his gut sink. He nods his head numbly and picks himself up, gets changed out of his costume and stage makeup. By the time he went out to the rest of the cast on the stage, everyone is out of their costumes and sitting down on the stage or sitting on the floor in front of the stage. The audience has all gone including his mum, he sighs but he knows that she wouldn’t stick around, he makes a mental note to call her later. 

 

After Kiki reminds them about the after-party, Jonas takes Matteo and the boys out for dinner to celebrate Matteo for his good job in the play.

 

When they had gotten to the party they immediately go to the drinks table, Jonas pours them a few shots and they cheered even though Matteo’s heart was hurting because of his dad but he pushed past it and downed a few shots. 

 

A while later he finds himself pushing past people dancing as he makes his way through the party to find David. Every now and then people would stop him to congratulate him, he thanks them and keeps pushing past the masses of people. 

 

He smiles as he pushes past Leonie and Sara making out in the middle of the living room. He finally finds David in the kitchen talking to Laura and Hanna. Matteo walks up behind Hanna, wraps his arms around her waist and rests his head in the crook of her neck. 

 

“Hey Juliet,” Hanna says with a smile, he tilts his head to catch Hanna’s eyes and smiles at her. He makes sure to avoid looking at David even though the whole reason that he was standing there was to talk to David. All of the alcohol-induced confidence he previously held has disappeared. 

 

They all talk for a while, they talk about the play and the party. At one point Laura suggests that she and Hanna go find Leonie and Sara after she saw the not very hidden glances David has been throwing Matteo’s way. 

 

“They were making out in the middle of the living room the last time I saw them,” Matteo helpfully tells them. The girls leave and an uncomfortable silence between Matteo and David stretches out as the party goes on around them. 

 

Matteo wrings his thumb around the hole in his sweater and keeps avoiding looking at David, not knowing what to say but knowing he can’t just walk away because they would be weird. Out of the corner of his eye, Matteo sees David open his mouth to say something but closes it so Matteo shuffles closer so they can hear each other over the loud music if one of them did decide to speak. 

 

“We should probably talk right?” David finally asks, breaking the silence between them. 

 

“Yeah, we probably should,” Matteo says back as he nods his head. He finally looks at David just as he nods his head towards the front of the house. Matteo nods his head again and follows David out of the kitchen, his heart jumps as David grabs his hand to lead him through the multitude of people in the main room of the house. They push through all of the people and get out of the house. 

 

Even though it’s almost midnight, the air outside is still warm but because of the body heat in the house, Matteo shivers as the wind hits his skin. He follows David and sits down on the lawn next to the other boy. Neither of them talks, the ever familiar silence slowly creeps it way back in. 

 

Matteo doesn’t want to be the first one to say something, even if the thought of speaking did cross his mind, he wouldn’t even know what to say to David because what do you say to the boy you just kissed on stage as Juliet but you want to kiss as the real you? 

 

“You did a really good job,” David says startling Matteo who turns to look at him. Matteo smiles and quietly chuckles. 

 

“I was alright, you were the real star, I’m pretty sure all the girls and guys in the crowd wanted to be Juliet just for you,” Matteo says back, David laughs and shakes his head. Matteo is more then ready to let the silence creep it’s way back in but he knows that if they don’t talk about it now, they’ll never talk about it.

 

“So….” both Matteo and David say at the same time, they laugh and Matteo gestures for David to speak first. 

 

“So we should talk about us right?” David asks and Matteo nods his head as he scratches the back of his neck. It shouldn’t feel awkward but it does, Matteo thought this conversation would mirror the feeling of the conversation that they had earlier in the day in the little corner where they were tucked away, he thought about how easy the conversation flowed and how normal it felt but now, here he was, sitting on the lawn with David as a party rages on inside while he feels like he should shrink away. 

 

“I like you a lot, I do but I don’t wanna ruin this friendship because I don’t know if you like me back even though you did say you wanted it to mean something,” Matteo rushes out before David can even get a word in. 

 

“I like you too, a lot,” David says and Matteo lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in.

 

“Does that mean you wanna be like my boyfriend or something?” Matteo asks quietly. Though he wants David to say yes, his mind jumps to his parents and his friend, he hasn’t told the boys that he’s gay but Matteo is sure that they support and accept him but with his parents, it’s a different case. If history shows anything, it’s that gay kids and religious parents don’t mix but Matteo mum will still love him but he’s just not sure about his father. Matteo looks at David and wonders what David’s parents would say, he knows that Laura would be happy for them but David has never spoken about their parents. 

 

“Yeah, I wanna be your boyfriend,” David says breaking Matteo from his thoughts, all his worries drift away and he smiles at David. 

 

“I wanna be your boyfriend too,” Matteo says. They both lead forward and this time there is no audience, no spotlights, no costumes, no makeup and no characters, it’s just two boys sitting on the lawn in front of a party who like each other very much. They lips connect after what seemed to be hours and Matteo feeling a warmth spread across his chest and he knows that's it’s not from the alcohol, it’s from the boy who has his hands on Matteo's face. 

 

“We should probably go back in before Kiki makes a big speech and they send out a search party for us,” David says, he stands up and offers a still sitting Matteo a hand, Matteo grabs his hand and lets himself be pulled up, neither of them let go of each other's hand but they smile to themselves and make their way back inside the house. 

 

Matteo blushes bright red as Jonas looks from their interlocked hands and back up to Matteo, he smiles and Matteo sighs out a breath of relief. They find their way over to Leonie, Sara, Laura, Jonas, Abdi, Carlos, Amira and Hanna who all smile at them. 

 

“You’re glad I forced you to audition, aren’t you?” Amira pulls him aside later and asks. Matteo laughs and turns his head to smile at his boyfriend who is laughing at something Laura says. 

 

“Yeah, I’m really glad.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG YOU GUYS!!!!!!! THE LAST CHAPTER OMG. holy shit okay, so this I started writing this fic on the 16th of May 2019 at 2:12 am and after seeing a prompt on Tumblr, I had no idea where I was going with this idea, i had just started at a new school and was struggling but with your guy's support and comments I was able to write this and it's just amazing how many of you like my writing. I wanna thank you guys, my friend Alex, my best friend Jordan who encouraged me when I got writer block and just anyone who has helped me with this. It's been a ride, my dudes. From a slightly emotional lesbian, farewell.


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